We first tested the Vibra Exciter in the bedroom. Why? I hear you ask when this is a toy designed for use in less than private places would we do a thing like that? Simple, volume. Many bullets in sex toys are less than quiet. If you’re in the privacy of your own home that’s great, but outside that can lead to all sorts or trouble. Although the Vibra Exciter’s control unit does have a big “Cancel” button, just in case and would pass as a pager if spotted on your waistband.

Read more: A Sex Blog by Alex and Suzanne � Cock Teasing

Sadly, Wendy had to eat those words. Maybe she was worried about finding the right knife. Or perhaps she was concerned about the legal ramifications of conducting an unauthorized penectomy. Or maybe she underwent a great sexual awakening and found herself more titillated by her husband’s peccadilloes than she’d imagined. Whatever: her bloodthirsty moment passed.

Read more: Wendy’s got no steak, but possibly eggs

What I’d like to ask y’all, since you’re so sophisticated and everything, is this: Why is it that lesbians think penis jokes, Puppetry of the Penis (no I’m not giving them a link), Penis Humor, “per se,” are funny, but straight women are all, ewww. Get that thing away from me.

Read more: A Small Question About Penises

The path to a sex change surgery however is long and drawn out, and includes counseling sessions and psychological evaluations. Many wannabe lady boys have been bypassing this lengthy procedure to have smaller and less complicated cosmetic castrations, instead. A simple castration can be done in a Bangkok clinic for as little as $125m and in less than 15 minutes.

Read more: Thailand Clamps Down on Cosmetic Castrations

I therefore winced slightly on learning that as well as phantom limbs, there are phantom penises, experienced by those who have undergone a penectomy (a word which is well worthy of a wince in itself). V.S.Ramachandran, who devised an ingenious way of using mirrors to help people with phantom limb pain, by fooling the brain into briefly believing that the missing limb was back, has now turned his attention to penises, together with P.D. McGeoch. This time the research is not about pain relief, however, but gender identity, where the possession or lack of a penis is clearly highly relevant.

Read more: Phantom Penises

Remember the castrating nutbags from North Carolina? Of course you do. If you don't, you can read about them here, here, here and here.

Read more: North Carolina Castrators Reach Plea Agreement

(2) Hudud punishments of amputation, stoning, beheading and sometimes burning and castration (see Saudi prisons on this) have been banned worldwide as inhumane, yet they routinely carried out by Islamic countries and pan-state terrorists.

Read more: Longest Comment Ever

Anyway, one part of the joke is this; China’s most expensive delicacies is eating wild animal’s penis! So they claim that by eating those wild animal penis such as tiger’s which can help to prolong erection. Also they claim that the harder you find the animal the more powerful is the effect after consuming those animal’s penis. Mike Hui said, there’s one animal which is most difficult to find, Bin Laden! So if he’s being found, for sure by eating his penis will make your erection last longer and more powerful than any other wild animal’s penis you consumed in the world! This part I laugh until cough!

Read more: Michael Hui Talk Show

I don’t want to go out on a limb here and say that Jorge Mejia and his wife don’t have a healthy level of communication in their relationship. That, or simple cowardice and stupidity, might explain why after crashing his Ford Focus (not pictured) on the way to a casino in Sonoma County, California he told the cops that he’d been kidnapped and had to crash the car to escape. Police were considering pressing charges against Mejia for making a fake report and his wife is likely considering castration after he not only crashed the car on the way to a casino, but also might go to jail for lying about it.

Read more: Man Fakes Kidnapping To Hide Crash From Wife

There aren’t enough words to describe the agony I went through. How dare they imply my penis needed enlarging; and how dare they imply I had a penis anyway! What is it about men and wanting everything to be - so - big?

Read more: Captain Planet? Save Me.

University of Illinois researchers did some tests on rats, and found that combining the 2 vegetables helped to prevent prostate cancer:

Read more: Tomato-Broccoli Combo May Protect Against Prostate Cancer

Kenny and I were watching The Daily Show last night and somebody got called a pussy during one of those fake "on location" segments. I can't remember just now who did the calling and who was the actual pussy, but I do know that when used as an insult, pussy = weak. HAH.

Read more: Mostly True Stories: The Power of the Pussy

They don’t call it “wedlock” for no reason. The article is actually pretty fair-minded towards women who haven’t got any good reason to be lured out of the single life into marriage, presenting them as reasonable people who are making rational choices, instead of the usual portraying of single women as either desperate or selfish, castrating bitches. The writer is also mindful that if more women live without a spouse than men, it’s because women generally outlive men on average, so a lot of these single castration machines are actually sweet little old widows.

Read more: Single women are, much to wingnut chagrin, very common and not particularly unhappy about that

We know it's hard, but try to think back to San Francisco's 2002 Gay Pride (yeah, they all sort of blend together into a rainbow tapestry of faggotry). If you were there, you may recall San Francisco Department of Public Health unveiled a new syphillis testing ad campaign. In said campaign, a cartoon penis by the oh-so-subtle name "Healthy Penis" made his Gayville debut, encouraging hordes of homo whores to get themselves tested for the big-S.

Read more: Penis Curbs Syphilis, Saves World / Queerty

That lovely green lawn of yours? You're just compensating: Lawn pesticides are linked to decreases in human penis size, a University of Florida researcher reports.

Read more: News-Record.com - Greensboro, North Carolina: : Strange Days XIII